Breaking Free
by bookloves
Summary: When Dean and Sam find out Castiel helped an angel/demon hybrid escape from a mental hospital, they learn that she not only is more powerful than most demons and angels, but she knows the past, present, and future-and Heaven and Hell will do whatever it takes to get her. Will she be able to foretell who wins the war? Castiel/OC
1. A Possible Case

**A/N: So, this is my new story. I'm not quite sure how this'll turn out, but we'll see... I'm going to write a song lyric at the beginning of each chapter that basically summarizes what's going to go down in the chapter. Please, follow/favorite and review! **

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_It's too cold outside for angels to fly - **A-Team by Ed Sheeran**_

Dean stood outside Bobby's house, leaning against the Impala. He groaned, annoyed at the fact that Castiel still hadn't used his mojo to zap himself to Dean's exact location. He'd already been waiting for 30 minutes, and wasn't about to let the angel have any more time.

"Cas, you son of a bitch, where are you?" He muttered under his breath, looking up at the dark blue sky. Checking his watch, he saw the time was 10:30 PM. He shook his head and stepped into the car, not yet turning the ignition on, rubbing his hands against his face.

"Hello, Dean." A rough voice said. Dean jumped, turning to see Cas, sitting in the passengers seat.

"Damn it, Cas! Why didn't you come sooner?" Dean demanded, his hazel eyes deepening in color due to his anger. Castiel pondered for a moment.

"... I was busy."

"Wow, I hadn't figured that out!" Dean yelled sarcastically. He turned the ignition on, and drove away from the house, occasionally stealing glances from the celestial being. Castiel just gazed out the windshield, unsure of what to say.

"Dean, the war between Heaven and Hell will be starting soon." Castiel finally said, looking at Dean. Dean rolled his eyes.

"I know that, Cas. You don't exactly have to remind me." The hunter sighed.

The two men remained silent for what felt like the longest time. Castiel would attempt to say something, but it never went well.

Neither one spoke the rest of the ride to the motel.

* * *

Sam sat alongside Dean in the nearby diner, sitting across from Cas, who stared at his hands on his lap.

Sam would glance at Dean, then at Castiel worriedly. Something went wrong between the two, but he didn't want to ask. Eventually Dean had enough of Sam trying to decipher what was going on, though he didn't dare speak a word.

"Dean, I need to, uh, tell you... Something." Sam murmured, glancing at the angel for a moment. He looked back at Dean. When the older brother looked at his sibling quizzically, Sam took it as his chance to talk. "You'll probably get mad since I didn't tell you earlier, but..."

"But what?" Dean demanded.

"In Bismarck, North Dakota, a 17 year old girl was found sitting in the middle of the highway, at almost 11 o'clock PM. in a hospital gown. Apparently, she escaped the mental hospital she was at a mere 2 hours before she was found. She was at the hospital for Schizophrenia and Bipolar Disorder." Sam said quietly. Dean looked confused, not sure what this had to do with their area of expertise.

"What does this have to do with anything?" Dean asked, glancing at Cas for a split second. Sam's expression changed from alert to somber.

"The mental hospital she was in... It's in Florence, South Carolina." Sam murmured, keeping his voice low. Dean looked shocked; how was a Schizophrenic 17 year old girl supposed to escape a mental hospital without getting caught and manage to run 1,654 miles in 2 hours - it should take over 500 hours!

Dean had a sudden moment of realization. He looked at Castiel, who now hung his head low, though kept his gaze locked onto Dean. Sam looked between the two, not knowing what was going on.

"Cas... Was that why you were so late last night? Were you helping out a psycho chick run away from a mental hospital? Because that would explain why you were late." Cas didn't say a word. "Hey, angel, are you going to help me out here... Or no?"

Castiel waited a few minutes to answer. "Yes, I was helping her run away. But for an acceptable reason."

Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes. Sam looked at Castiel, puzzled.

"Why would you need to help a delusional girl?" Dean asked, needing to know why Cas was helping out a random girl. Castiel glared at Dean.

"The child is not delusional, Dean. Nor is she a psychopath. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, but she... Does not actually have hallucinations. She was raised in an Atheistic atmosphere, and she claimed she knew everything about the Christian religion's beliefs: Past, present, and future. Her parents heard her talking to 'herself'. But they did not know that she somehow could communicate with both demons and angels." Castiel explained. Sam unconsciously leaned in, intrigued by the situation. Dean leaned back against the booth, remembering what happened with Anna.

"So, she can communicate with both demons and angels, she knows everything that has happened, is happening, or will happen?" Sam questioned, wanting the angel to confirm what was just said. Castiel nodded.

"Yes, she knows everything about the past, present and future. But, only for the angels and demons." Castiel clarified. Dean's eyes widened as he heard the last statement.

"Then that means she knows who will win in the war against Heaven and Hell, doesn't she?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded.

"The demons want her as much as the angels, if not more. We need to find her before Crowley gets to her." Castiel told the hunters, making Sam forced Dean out of the booth. Dean laid a fifty dollar bill on the table, and walked out with the other two men.

When they were all sat in the car, Dean sped off, heading towards Bismarck, where the girl would hopefully still be.

They reached their destination a few hours later, arriving at a police station with their fake badges and sporting monkey suits. Cas thought it best that he stay in the car.

A young woman sat at a desk, forcing a smile. She grinned up at the boys, smirking when she saw Sam. Dean cleared his throat, making her leave La La Land.

"How can I help?" She fake-cheerily asked, widening her smile. Sam and Dean took their badges out, making the woman shift uncomfortably in her chair. As Sam was slipping his badge back into his suit, Dean started talking.

"This is my partner, Agent Rogers," Dean stated, point king to his younger brother. "And I'm Agent Novak. We need to talk to the deputy about the 17 year old girl found on the highway."

The receptionist's smile fell, and she looked confused. "I'm sorry?" She asked incredulously. Dean rolled his eyes.

"About what?" Dean sarcastically asked, Sam giving him his infamous bitch face. The elder brother cleared his throat. "I'm, um, sorry. That was... Uncalled for."

"No worries..." The woman replied hesitantly. "But, really, why is the FBI involved in this?" She questioned, still not paging an officer.

"How is a schizophrenic 17 year old girl supposed to walk almost 2000 miles in 2 hours? From where she was, it should have taken her at least 500." Sam asked, becoming annoyed with her. "As my partner mentioned before, may we please see the officer that is assigned to this case?" He asked politely. The woman nodded, walking off. She returned moments later with a man a few steps behind her.

"Agent Novak," Dean said, introducing himself, holding the fake badge out. He pointed to his younger brother. "This is my partner, Agent Rogers. We are here for the case of the 17 year old found on the highway."

The officer nodded, walking them to an office in a corner.

"So, what about this case do you need to know?" He asked, sitting down in the chair at his desk. He gestured for the hunters to sit down. "Name? Medical history? Legal history?"

Sam took a small notepad out of his suit along with a pen, nodding. "What was the girl's name?"

"Her name is Amara Winters. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the age of 5 years, and Bipolar Disorder at 10 years of age. Her parents noticed her talking to herself more and more as the years went by, although she says she was 'talking to angels and demons.' She was put into a mental hospital when she was 14. She wasn't talking to her hallucinations as much. In fact, they nearly stopped." The man rambled on, Sam furiously scribbling onto the paper. When Sam was done writing, Dean looked at the officer; he obviously wasn't finished.

"But?" He prompted. The officer sighed, leaning back against his chair.

"One night, around 3 in the morning, a nurse went to go check on Amara because she heard banging and smashing coming from her room. The nurse opened the door and found two wings painted on one of the walls in dark red, with trails of the liquid running down the wall. Amara was slumped against the wall, sitting her back between the two wings. Her pants were off, and there deep, wide gashes in her legs." The officer shivered.

"So she basically sliced her legs, and painted on the walls with her blood?" Sam asked, wondering what this had to do with how the girl got to the highway.

"Yeah, she did. The odd thing was, though, that there was nothing sharp enough in her room to cut through her skin like she did. Her fingers and nails, besides being caked from painting with blood, weren't damaged in any way. There weren't any knives, there was no broken glass. No sharp metal. There was no way she could harm herself." The officer said, confusion obvious in his voice. Sam stood up with Dean, and the two nodded, shaking hands with the deputy. They parted ways after a few moments.

When Dean was about to start the car, he looked over at Cas who sat in the backseat. Castiel just stared into Dean's eyes blankly, knowing what was going to happen.

"Cas, there something' you want to tell us?" Dean asked, his tone making it clear that he wanted an answer - and now. He started the car and drove away, heading towards the motel on the quiet street.

"Amara is not schizophrenic. She does not have bipolar. Of course, though, humans cannot assume that another human is a certain way due to their beliefs. It would spark an outrage." Castiel waited a few minutes before continuing. "She... is at a constant battle with herself. She does not know who she should side with - Heaven or Hell. There is a reason though."

Sam and Dean exchanged puzzled glances before looking back at Castiel. The angel looked between the two of them for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing. "She is stronger than many angels and many demons. Her powers are... Consuming her. She has two sides: demonic and angelic. Though you two may claim that she has two personalities: calm and selfless, or sadistic and mindless."

Dean was still behind. "Care to elaborate, buddy?" He asked. Castiel rolled his eyes.

"She is half demon and half angel." Cas explained, annoyance clear in his tone. Sam almost choked on air hearing those words. Dean's hands tightened around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Rain began pounding on the windshield, and Cas remained silent.

"Haven't we dealt with one before?" Sam asked, breaking the tense and awkward silence. Dean shrugged, unable to remember at the moment. The angel shook his head, fiddling with his hands in his lap.

"Sam, even if you had killed one before, she will not be nearly as easy to destroy." Castiel murmured, expectant of anger and confusion.

"Why not?" Sam asked. Castiel looked at the younger hunter and sighed.

"She's too powerful, Sam. Before you could lay a finger on her she could kill you. She could kill you with a single touch." Castiel warned, making Sam cringe ever so slightly and Dean tighten his grip on the wheel more before loosening it.

"How could a hybrid get that damn powerful?" Dean demanded, needing an answer.

"I do not know. Neither does my Father nor Crowley. No demon and no angel know. All we know is that, whoever side she is on, that is the side that will win."

"How do you know that she'll choose the winning team?" Sam inquired.

"As far as I am concerned, and according to my current knowledge, she does not have a death wish just yet." Castiel said softly, hanging his head in shame.

"Well, I say that we go to sleep and find this son of a bitch tomorrow so we can get some answers." Dean suggested. Sam shrugged and Castiel didn't respond in any way. When the three men got the motel, they got their much needed rest.

The next day was going to be a long one.

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**A/N: Not quite sure how well this actually turned out. Please let me know in the reviews!**


	2. So Much Pain, Much More Glory

**A/N: All I have to say is: Listen to "Be Still" by The Fray while reading the parts that are starred (*blah blah*). Please favorite/follow and review. **

**Bless your godly faces.  
**

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_Everything that downs me_

_Makes me want to fly_

Counting Stars by OneRepublic

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"Dean." Sam called out to his brother, who laid on one of the motel beds, gazing blankly at the ceiling. After a few minutes without an answer, he tried once again to catch his brother's attention. "Dean, I know where the hybrid's been checked in."

Dean glared at his brother. "Let's hit the road then. C'mon, Princess Sammy!"

Sam groaned. "Good Cop or Bad Cop?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Red pill or blue pill?"

Sam nodded-good cop.

Within half an hour, they arrived at the hospital the teenage girl was staying at for the moment. They walked in, striding to the receptionist. She beamed at them, reminding the men of the overly-bubbly receptionist at the police station.

"Hello, gentlemen. Are you visiting someone today?" She asked, taking notice of their suits. She dropped the smile.

Dean took his badge out at the same time as his brother. "I am Agent Novak." He said, showing the receptionist the badge. He pointed to his brother. "And this is Agent Rogers. We have a few questions for Amara Winters. I am assuming you understand why?"

She nodded, her expression now stoic. She stood up, taking a large notepad and a few pens with her to the room, guiding the hunters. She stopped in front of a door that had no windows, and knocked a few times gently. A girl with long, curly black hair opened the door.

"I thought I was too crazy for visitors, Maya." The young girl murmured. The blonde receptionist told the teen that her name wasn't Maya, it was Angela. The dark-haired girl nodded, and sat down on the bed against the wall.

"If anything gets out of hand, press the green button right next to the door." Angela told the men, softly so that the girl wouldn't hear. They nodded, and she closed the door, leaving the pad of paper and pens in the room.

"I'm not crazy. I really do hear the angels." She murmured, bringing her knees to her chest. Her skin was a ghostly white, Dean noticed. He nodded.

"We believe you, Amara, we do. We just want to ask a few questions, okay?" Sam calmly asked, his voice somehow soothing. Amara looked between the two men, scrutinizing them, before hesitantly nodding. Dean glanced at Sam, mentally telling him to write everything down. Sam grabbed the pad of paper and a pen.

"Okay, if you don't want to answer something, just let me know, okay?" He asked slowly. Amara nodded. "When did you first hear the angels?"

"I've always heard them. I've listened to them for as long as I can remember. They didn't know I could hear them until I was able to talk in full sentences when I was 4. I said, 'Are you protecting me?' and one of them answered, 'No, you must protect yourself.'" She said, trying to put her thoughts together.

"Are there any angels you talk to back and forth often?" Sam questioned. Amara thought for a moment.

"Yes. I speak with Castiel often. He's the angel of Thursday. I've been talking to him for years... I was 10 when he first talked to me. He helped me with a lot of things. He's very nice. But he's blunt when he is not oblivious." She said, smiling softly at the memories. Dean and Sam exchanged glances.

"What did he help you with?" Dean asked, leaning forward slightly. The girl shrugged.

"He helped me with..." She trailed off, slowly bringing her hands to her head, gripping her hair tightly. She squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her teeth. She gasped in pain a few times. Sam pointed to the green button.

"Do you want me to get someone?" He asked cautiously. She shook her head, a tear running down her cheek as she let go of her hair.

"No. I need you to get me out of here." She murmured, glaring at Dean. She whispered a few words to herself.

"Amara, we talked about this, you can't just-" Cas turned to see Sam and Dean sitting across from the girl. "What are you doing here?"

Dean smirked. "Why didn't you tell me you had a little crush?"

"Why would I want to crush her?" Castiel asked, his face suddenly becoming sorrowful. "I do not wish to hurt her."

Sam chuckled. "Cas smash." He muttered under his breath.

*****Amara smiled, sensing a hidden emotion deep within Castiel. "Castiel, he meant to ask if you like me."

"But of course I like you. I like all three of you. Was that not already made known?"

"Well you seem to like me and Mr. Gay over there," She joked, pointing to a scowling Dean, "More than you really should." Dean groaned.

"Cas, listen. It's obvious that you like her more than a friend, but not quite like family. It's a-a different kind of... Relationship." Sam explained, glaring at Dean, who was not enjoying the moment.

"I do not understand." Castiel stated. Dean shook his head.

"Cas. Listen, a girlfriend is a girl who you... Take out on dates sometimes and show affection to. Because you love her. She's the person you'd do anything for. Even if it means sacrificing your own life to keep her safe." Dean sighed, mentally cursing himself. "You've known Amara what, 7 years? And you've never showed her any affection in any way, ever?" Dean asked incredulously. He looked over at Amara, who now looked down in disappointment and shame.

Castiel walked over to her, trying to make as little space as possible between them without being pressed against her. She stood up, knowing the space between their faces was about 2 or 3 inches. "I need to ask you something."

"Which would be what, Cas?" She asked innocently, gazing into the angel's eyes. For the first time since they'd first met in person, he noticed the color of Amara's eyes- A deep violet.

"How much should I like you?" He asked softly, brushing a few stray strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear. He cupped her cheek, making her look at him. "Tell me."

Amara smiled. "It doesn't matter how much you should love me. It matters how much you _can_, though. Unless..." She trailed off, insure of what emotions he'd developed. "Unless you don't know what love is."

Castiel managed a smile. "I am not sure. I am positive I will soon learn if I do understand it soon though."

"Cassie, it isn't about understanding the emotions, it's more about feeling them. Don't worry, though. You'll know what I mean soon." She promised, placing an arm on his shoulder. He shook his head slightly. He bent down a bit to kiss her, his lips soft as a feather against hers. He pulled away after a moment, and Amara turned to Sam.

"Can you hack into the records? Make it so that I never existed." Sam nodded, walking out of the room. "Novak, distract people."

Dean walked out, leaving the hybrid and Castiel alone.

"Castiel, can you bring me to where they're staying? Right now?" She asked, looking at him. He nodded quickly. "Should I leave a note?"

"No, you do not have to. Unless you want to." Castiel said, softly grabbing a hold of her hand. Amara shook her head, intertwining her and Cas's fingers. Next thing she knew, they were in Dean and Sam's motel room.

"It'll be a while before they're back. I may as well take a shower." She murmured, walking into the bathroom.

* * *

The Winchesters walked back to Amara's room 10 minutes later, seeing it was completely empty. Dean grabbed his keys out of his pocket, running out to the Impala, Sam walking behind him. When they reached the motel, they waited a few minutes before going into their room. Just before Dean opened the door, they heard a blood-curdling scream. He slammed it open, seeing Amara on one of the beds, her back arching.

She panted, gritting her teeth to contain another scream. She failed, her spine slamming against the mattress. Castiel watched her in terror, holding her hand, letting her squeeze his tightly when she needed to. Tears were streaming down her face as she let out choked sobs, her breathing shaky and shallow. She pointed to the door.

"Dean, Sam... Leave... _Now!_" She hoarsely said through gritted teeth. They left, deciding to get another room. "Castiel... My wings..." She whispered shallowly, choking on air.

Her wings were going to break through her skin for the very first time. And Castiel would be there to see it happen. He would actually see and _feel_ her wings.

Amara knew this was going to be the most intimate moment for either of them. Showing your actual wings to another being, and letting them feel them was intimate enough, but actually letting someone see them _break through your skin for the first time_? That was the most intimate thing to do. Castiel was aware that Amara knew this.

Amara _chose Castiel_ to see her wings spend feel them first. She _chose him _to let them break through her skin.

And Castiel knew why she told Sam and Dean to leave.*****

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**A/N: I hope you guys like it! And yes, I know that it's very early to introduce their relationship, but, hey, they've known each other 7 years... It had to happen soon. It did. I'm not really sorry either, tbh.  
**

**Please follow/favorite and review! Thank you!**


	3. Tell Me, Now

**A/N: I was listening to "Kiss Me" by Ed Sheehan and "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle as I wrote this. Let's say there's a shit ton of fluff. Enjoy, my darlings.**

**Bless your divine faces. **

**The link for the shape of Amara's wings will be on my profile! **

**For the coloring, the top is white, and as it goes down it darkens to a dusty coal grey color.**

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_Everything will change_

_Nothing stays the same_

_..._

_Nobody here's perfect,_

_Oh, but everyone here's to blame_

In My Veins by Andrew Belle

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"Castiel? How... How do they look?" Amara asked, her head dropping, her eyes gazing at her hands on her lap. Castiel gazed at her wings in awe. The shape was your stereotypical angel wing shape, but the color... At the top, her wings were pure white, but as his eyes trailed to the tip at the bottom, he noticed they darkened to a dusty coal grey. They didn't point up towards the sky-to Heaven-like every other angels'. Hers pointed towards Hell, for she was half demon. He was speechless.

"Amara... They are... Beautiful." He murmured softly, reaching out to feel one of the feathers. As he ran his hand down it, it felt silky against his skin. "They are... The most beautiful I have ever seen. Perhaps they are the most beautiful of all Heaven."

Amara pulled him into a hug, her wings surrounding them as she did so. If anyone were to walk into the room, they'd see only her wings, for they protected the couple from sight. "Cas? Can you help me clean up? I'm sure my back is covered in blood."

Castiel nodded. He forgot she couldn't heal herself like he could. He didn't want to use his Grace though. If he did, her skin would close, making it hurt the next time she let her wings free. He grabbed a wash cloth from the bathroom, soaking it in cold water. Since Amara's hospital gown was torn and was no longer wearable, he handed her a large towel for her to cover her bare chest. He gingerly dabbed the washcloth to her tender skin, cleaning the blood from her back. She winced a few times, but he would stop and brush his hand over the area that hurt to numb the pain. When he finished, he put the small cloth back in the bathroom.

Amara held the towel tightly to her body, standing up and walking towards Castiel. She fixed the towel so it would stay up without her holding it up. She stopped about a foot in front of him, looking into his aqua eyes with her crystal blue ones. It was at this moment that Castiel realized that, when her angelic side took over, her eyes were... The color of his. He pondered the thought for a moment, wondering why that was.

"Castiel, Angel of Thursday and the Lord, may I have the privilege of..." She trailed off, hesitant to finish her request. Castiel walked towards her slowly, knowing what she was going to ask for. He cupped her cheek, silently telling her that she could ask. "Castiel, Angel of Thursday and the Lord, may I have privilege to see your wings?"

He nodded, slipping off his trench coat and suit jacket. He undid his tie, not bothering with his shirt. He would just fix it with his Grace later when it would be ripped. He stepped back a bit, spreading his arms wide. Two wide, raven black wings spread out to either side of him, curling inwards before it hit the walls. He stepped towards her again, reaching for her hand. He brought it towards his wing but let go, willing her to touch the feathers.

She did so, her fingertips delicately brushing against the silky feathers, making him sigh in content. He pulled her into a kiss, his lips moving with hers slowly. As Amara's wings curled around the two, Castiel's did the same, surrounding her wings. Their wings brushed together momentarily, making Amara push herself against Castiel. He involuntarily moaned, never having felt that sensation before.

They kissed each other less gently, consumed by the passion for each other. Cas's hands moved to her back, where the towel wasn't against her skin, his fingers gently massaging the muscle near where her wings came out her back. Amara moaned softly into his lips, pulling away to catch her breath. Her hands moved to his chest, lightly gripping the fabric of his shirt, pulling him back to her. She bit his lip as he pulled away again moments later. He gently grabbed her upper arms and pushed her slightly away.

"No, Amara... I... I cannot." He said, resting his forehead against hers.

"Do you... Not want to? Or you just aren't ready?" She asked, suddenly feeling slightly self conscious. Castiel shook his head. He moved his head so his lips were lightly pressing her shoulder.

"I am not ready. And I do not wish to... Lust after you. I do not want you to lose your purity because I was lustful." He whispered against her soft skin. The coldness of his breath against her warmth made shivers run down her spine. When he lifted his head again to look in her eyes, he was greeted with a confused gaze.

"Lust after me? Wh-what about me is there to lust after?" She asked quietly, her voice almost silent. Castiel looked at her, confused and surprised. How could he tell her he thought she was beautiful? That he noticed whenever guys would try to hit on her or when they looked at her with lust? He never thought he'd get this far, let alone think he'd have to tell a girl she was beautiful.

"Everything... You're... Amara, you are a beautiful angel. A beautiful demon. I am not the only one who thinks so."

She kissed him softly, just for moment.

He hugged her gently, his fingers wandering to the feathers on the back of her wings.

"_Castiel.._" She moaned softly, making him grin slightly at the fact that she didn't just say 'Cas' like she did a lot of the time. Her head buried in his chest, he lifted her bridal style, her wings disappearing for the time being. He laid her down on the bed, knowing she was most likely starting to get tired. She gestured for him to look away, and slipped the towel off, sliding the covers over her near-naked body. She laid on her side, her arm draped over the sheets.

"You're not tired, are you?" She asked, noticing now that his wings were tone as well. To her surprise, Cas nodded. "I don't know if you're saying that just to get in bed with me or..." She joked, knowing he wouldn't. He thought for a moment. He tossed her his white dress shirt, stripping down to just his boxers. "Oh Lord, Castiel. You just said you didn't want..."

"Do not make me change my mind." He warned, his voice dangerously low. Amara buttoned the white shirt once it was on her. She looked him up and down, smirking. He caught her staring, and walked over to her, sitting on the bed and pulling the covers over his body. "I may not be tired, but you are. Now sleep, Amara." He said softly, turning the lamp off. Amara moved closer to Castiel, nuzzling her head in his chest. He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her close. She turned to her other side, her back pressed against Castiel's chest.

When he knew she was asleep, he kissed her neck softly, just to... He didn't know. It was just one, gentle kiss. He wasn't going to do anything else. He told himself that over and over again.

He didn't know what he was doing. Something just told him to. Something or someone.

He prayed a silent prayer. _Father, why am I doing this? Why do I lust? Why can I only just control myself? Help, Father._

He closed his eyes, turning on his back. He looked over at Amara, who laid there, her black curly hair starting to become knotted as she turned towards him. He let out a shaky breath, not knowing what to do.

* * *

When Amara woke, she was still wearing Castiel's shirt, but she did not see the angel. Getting up, she called his name, needing to make sure he was there. She heard the flutter of wings behind her, towards the door.

"Castiel, I swear to God-" She said, cutting herself off when she turned around. She saw Gabriel standing in front oh the door, his smirk plastered on his face. "What the hell do you want, Gabriel?"

"I was just checking on little Cassie's _girlfriend._ Is that so bad?" He said, walking towards her. He eyed her up and down as he said the word 'girlfriend'. "I mean, everyone thought he was gay because of Dean-o but... This is so much better." He said, gesturing to nothing with both arms spread wide as he turned away from her, laughing.

"What do you mean?" Amara asked, scared. Gabriel chuckled before turning back to her.

"Amara. So innocent, so naïve... Do you not know of the thoughts Cas has of you?" He asked as if she should know.

"I don't read his mind. I can, but I choose not to. Why? He said he didn't want to lust. Is he?" She asked, slightly concerned. If one night he wouldn't be able to control himself...

"Oh, I don't read his mind. No one does. He came to me last night, while you were sleeping. He said he needed some, uh... Guidance with... This," He said, gesturing to Amara. "Relationship of yours. I mean, you do know what I represent as an Archangel, right?"

"Yeah, you ass. You're the Archangel of love. Why are you involved though?" She demanded. He shrugged.

"Castiel asked for Guidance with a relationship, so I gave it to him. You may want to be prepared for tonight though." He winked, slowly walking towards her. She took the angel blade off the nightstand, pointing the tip at him. He didn't flinch in the slightest. He looked down at the blade pointed at his chest in disgusted surprise. "Really? You're gonna try to kill me? If there aren't enough demons and angels after you right now, imagine how many there'll be after you kill me."

Amara froze. She dropped the blade. "Why are they after me?" She asked.

"Normally, they'd want to kill you. I mean, a demon/angel spawn? You could destroy this world. Chances are you could smite my Father!" He yelled, surprised she wasn't aware of what she could do. "Heaven And Hell want you on their side. Because whichever side you choose... That's who will win."

"I already know who wins, though! I mean, I don't want to be involved in this shit, okay?!" She yelled, starting to cry. Gabriel started walking towards her-he hadn't meant to hurt her in this way. "Get the fuck away from me! I just... I need to talk to Castiel..."

Gabriel left with a flutter of wings. She was alone, again. She heard another flutter of wings from behind her.

"Gabriel, I literally _just_ told you I needed to talk to Castiel!" She yelled, turning around after finishing her sentence. She sighed, saying "Oh, my God, Cas..." And ran over to him, hugging him fiercely.

"You were about to kill my brother." He said somberly, gently closing his eyes. Amara opened her mouth to speak, but shut it just a moment after.

"No, Castiel..." She murmured, not knowing how to justify her actions. "I was just... taking precautions."

He opened his eyes, quickly moving at her and slamming her against the wall. She softly cried out in pain, and he looked at her, confused and concerned.

"What did he say that made you take the angel blade?" He asked, his hands gripping her waist a little tighter. Her breathing was heavy. She swallowed some air.

"That I may want to be prepared for tonight. He said, and I quote, 'Amara. So innocent, so naïve... Do you not know of the thoughts Cas has of you?' But you told me you did not lust. Or, you did not want to." She said, Cas's fingers digging deeper into her skin, making her bite her lip harshly so she wouldn't cry out in pain again. Did he not know she could feel pain? "Do you, Castiel? Tell me. Tell me now. If you want to..." She trailed off, slamming the back of her head against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

His hands moved up to her ribs, pushing down slightly. He chanted something, raising her higher. He repeated the odd chant, over and over, his hands gently pushing harder against her bone. When he finished, he slowly slid her down the wall so her feet just barely touched the ground. He crashed his lips against hers, making her confused and frozen for a moment. She figured he was doing something Castiel-y as he occasionally did.

When his hands slid to her legs, wrapping them slowly around his waist, she pulled away as much as she could.

"Castiel... What're you-" Amara was cut off by his lips, kissing her again. Normally she would have gone with it, but something was wrong with Cas. She couldn't push him away- her legs were being held up by his hands still, and he had an iron grip. She moved her hand from his arm and slapped his face with all her strength-which was quite a lot.

Castiel let go of her legs, making her able to kick him away from her.

"What the hell has gotten into you?" She yelled, walking over to the angel on the floor. She picked him up with her fist, throwing him onto the bed. "You tell me to stop and leave you alone because you don't want to get with me, then you go and do what you said you couldn't do? That is the definition of hypocrisy. What is wrong with you?"

Castiel sat up, slipping his trench coat and suit jacket off, throwing them on the other bed. "I... I do not know, Amara. I..." He trailed off, not knowing what to say. He then thought of a hopefully acceptable excuse. "The pizza man taught me that."

"The pizza man taught you to hurt the girl you like and then go all the way with her like nothing ever happened? I don't think so." She muttered, annoyed. Castiel looked at her in surprise.

"You... I hurt you?" He asked, not knowing that doing what he had done would harm her. All he meant to do was keep her away from the demons and angels, under the radars. Only Gabriel, Balthazar, and him would know where she was at any given moment.

"Yeah. You did. Whatever you did to my body... It may not have hurt yours, but it hurt mine. Castiel, you can't feel pain, but I can. Please, remember that." She murmured, her wings visible once again. "I'm going to go ask Dean and Sam if I can borrow a pair of shorts or something. Your white dress shirt doesn't help at all."

With a flutter of her wings, she was gone, leaving Castiel alone. He stood up, walking into the bathroom. He gripped the sides of the sink, feeling anger like he never had before.

He _hurt_ her. He _hurt_ the one girl that had stayed with him for so long and kept it so secret. She was the only girl he could talk to without getting flustered every five minutes, even though she was one of the most beautiful creatures he's ever seen- and he couldn't admit that.

He looked into the mirror, his blue eyes reminding him of her eyes that had the same color as his. Before he knew it, his fist was bleeding and the mirror was shattered in a thousand little pieces on the ground. He felt a stinging sensation where the glass had cut him multiple times.

There were runes on the shattered glass, he realized. And he recognized them.

They were the runes you'd use on an angel blade to kill a Divine being.

* * *

**Cliffhanger? I say yes.**

**I hoe you enjoyed it! Please review and favorite/follow!**


	4. On The Verge

**A/N: This is in First Person POV, first from Dean's, then later in Amara's. Please, darlings, read on.**

**Lyrics shall be scattered through out from various songs. They will be listed (in order) at the bottom in the A/N.**

* * *

_Love is not a victory march  
_

_It's a cold and it's a broken_

_Hallelujah _

Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen.

* * *

I walked out of the bathroom to see Amara standing in front of the table in Cas's white shirt. I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it immediately. She walked over to me with a stoic expression. She stood a few feet away from me, and smiled slightly.

"Can I borrow some clothes? I don't... Have anything, obviously. Everything was... Is at the hospital." She asked, scared that I'll say I'd say no. I nodded, throwing her a band tee and a plaid shirt.

"I'm assuming you'll need some, uh, pants?" I asked, knowing the answer. She nodded, and I handed her a pair of jeans. She thanked me, and walked into the bathroom to get changed. When she walked back out, the clothes fit her like they would if they were actually her size.

"How did you...?" I trailed off, surprised by this. She laughed quietly, probably expecting my response.

"I've got special mojo, Dean. Okay? Okay." She said, walking to me and clapping a hand on my shoulder. "I'm stealing Sam's beanie, by the way."

Since when did he have a beanie? "Um, okay. Does Cas know?" She tensed when I mentioned Cas

"How the hell wouldn't he?" She said, trying to hide her anger.

"Touché." I smiled, not knowing whether I should acknowledge how she seems. When she turned away, she froze and fell to the ground, her eyes turning black. She didn't wake up though. She didn't smile. Her eyes didn't go back to the crystal blue.

I yelled for Cas, fearing something bad happened to her. He ran in, and saw Amara on the floor. He muttered something under his breath, fuming with anger.

* * *

**(Amara's POV)**

I let go of Dean's shoulder, turning away and walking out of the motel room. I went to the one I was staying in, and locked the door behind me. When I turned around, I saw Cas, sitting on one of the beds, his back facing me.

I felt a bit scared, though I didn't know why. When I saw his arms and hands though, I knew why.

Blood was dripping down his arms, and his hands. He was breathing deeply and shallowly through clenched teeth. I almost cried for some reason, though I didn't know.

"Castiel? What... What did you do?" I asked, scared, kneeling in front him, holding his cheeks softly with my hands. I looked at him, his eyes tightly closed. When he felt my touch, his eyes opened slowly. His breathing picked up, and he was almost hyperventilating. "Cas! Cas, relax. What... What happened to you?"

He looked down at my clothes-Dean's clothes-and then back into my eyes.

"They fit you." It was a mix of a question and a statement. I nodded.

"Mojo, Cas, mojo." I smiled, hugging him. "Now tell me what you did to yourself."

He sucked in a breath, opening his mouth to say something, but stopped himself. Was he so ashamed?

"I... I punched a mirror after you left. The one in the bathroom. You wrote the runes used for Angel Blades on it." He said, confronting me. My jaw dropped minimally. I looked down in shame. I used a clear gloss to do it, but I should've known he would have found out.

"Castiel..."

_Just give me a reason. Just a little bit's enough. Just a second, we're not broken, just bent._

"Why? Why did you write them? Were you... Were you scared? Of Gabriel? Me?" He asked, the words flowing from his mouth quickly.

"I'm not... Scared of you, Castiel. I.. I..."

"It's him, isn't it?"

"No, it's not... Why would it be Crowley?"

"Not Crowley, Amara. I meant Raphael." He said somberly, his now healed hand resting on my neck. When did he heal it?

"Why would I be afraid of your superior?" I asked, still rather confused. Raphael had always been kind to Castiel, as far as I knew.

"No one talked about it?"

"Talked about what? On the 'radio'? Other than when they said that Raphael had committed a sin of some sort... Though some say it was a good thing... They've said nothing of him. Why?"

"When you were 14... And we hadn't talked for a while... I refused to tell you why, but... Now I must." He sighed, not wanting to tell me, apparently. "Raphael... killed me when I attempted to prevent him from breaking the last seal. Then the Apocalypse started because Sam killed Lilith."

I hadn't thought...

The nightmares... The visions... The angel radio turned off for a while...

"Oh my God." I whispered. "I..."

His arms were better too, I noticed that minute. I shook my head. This wasn't a dream...

His hands were on my cheeks now, and I held his upper arms. He kissed me softly, and I stood up, not pulling away. He stood too, our bodies pressed together. My hands moved to his hair, and I felt the softness run between my fingers. One hand slid to my waist, his arm snaking around it, pulling me even closer, and his other moved to the back of my neck, holding me in place.

To be honest, it felt nice.

I hadn't realized we had moved until I felt the mattress against my back and realized he was on top of me, hovering. His kisses became slower, almost teasing. Then he suddenly stopped, biting my bottom lip softly. He left a trail of kisses along my jaw, moving down to my neck, his lips slowly pressing against my skin. I got tired of him unknowingly teasing me, so I pulled his face back to mine, passionately and hungrily kissing him. My hands wandered to his chest, and fumbled while trying to unbutton his shirt. He gripped my hands tightly, yelling something at me.

* * *

I jolted upwards, sweating, shivering, and alone in the bed. I had Dean's clothes, but... What was that? It had to be a...

Oh my God. I just had a vision. I always went unconscious during my visions, and it was always Castiel grabbing my hands harshly and yelling at me that woke me up. Castiel walked inside the motel room.

_And we can learn to love again_

"You're finally awake." He said simply, but he sounded surprised. "After you walked out of the bathroom to change into the clothes Dean gave you," He said, pointing to my attire, "You just... Passed out. Neither one of us knew what it was but... You apparently just fell asleep."

"How long was I out?" I asked, scared. The amount of time I was out would determine how long from now what happened in my vision would occur.

"About 6 hours." He said, not bothered. But when he saw my terrified face, he quickly walked over to me. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I had trouble talking. My throat was closing. "No... I, uh, I-I-I had a-a vision... And... I was out 6 hours... It's going to happen in 6 hours." I looked at him for a moment, tears threatening to spill, before burying my face in my hands. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"What's going to happen in 6 hours?" He asked, concerned.

"You were going to ask about the runes on the mirror..." I started, then went into the whole conversation, leaving out our... Make out session.

"What was your explanation?" He demanded. I finished everything, and he looked shocked. And slightly pissed off.

"I don't know, Castiel. I don't get it. Why would you even consider... Having an... Unholy union with me? Especially now?" I asked, not understanding that part. He looked down at his lap in shame. He murmured something but he was too quiet. "I'm sorry, Castiel?"

He looked me in the eye. "Lust, Amara. It is lust that would make me want to have sex with you." He said, loud enough so I could hear this time, but still rather quiet.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. Why the hell would anyone lust after me? He looked at me, confused.

"Did you not hear me? Must I repeat myself?" He asked, annoyed. I shook my head.

"No, I heard you, clearly, but... Why would you lust after me?" I asked, not understanding. I was normal, except for the half demon half angel.

I looked like any other girl. But all the girls my age looked prettier than me. At least, I thought so.

He was struggling with his words.

"You... You are beautiful. I... I am not sure how you don't realize that. When you had... When you were allowed out of the hospital for a few weeks, and you would go out to the mall or the park... Or the beach, I saw boys looking at you. They would attempt to flirt with you, but you ignored them, waving them off. On more than one occasion you had them looking at you, wanting you simply for your body. I..." He trailed off, looking at me. "I hated them. I hated them with every ounce I could muster, every time they looked at you. I still do, even now."

I was choking on air. I couldn't... What was I supposed to say? All I wondered my whole life was how I'd find a boyfriend, how I'd find a husband... How I'd have a child.

I always wanted a child of my own; I wanted to be pregnant. I wanted to be married though, before I ever lost my virginity. Even then... We'd have to adopt.

"And I knew Gabriel did something before I left him... Now I know." He said, his typical stoic expression now in place. He stood up, backing away from me slowly. Oh, God.

"He's 'guiding you' in the relationship. He wants you to..." I didn't have heart to say it. Why?

"He's making me sin, Amara. I can't... I won't be able to control myself at some point, I don't know when." He said, his jaw a hard line.

"Please, Castiel, don't go. Please don't leave me." I said, trying to hide my sadness. No, no, no. Not now.

"I have to." He said. I could hear the hatred in his voice. He hated saying those words, I could tell.

"Castiel, please, don't leave me. If I... I can't do this, Castiel. Please, please. Don't leave me..." I begged, stepping off the bed and quickly walking towards him. I grabbed his arm tightly as he walked towards the door. He turned towards me, glaring with fuming anger.

"Why don't you want me to leave, Amara? I could _hurt_ you. I don't want to hurt you again. I couldn't... I can't see you like that, fearing me." He said through clenched teeth, his normally bright blue eyes now a dark sapphire. I was scared slightly. I'd never seen him so angry like this. He was steaming with hatred. I struggled with words.

"I can't do it." I said quietly, my grip on his arm loosening. His jaw tightened. He closed his eyes tightly.

"What do you _mean_ you can't do it?" He whispered. I felt a single tear drop roll down my cheek from my left eye.

"I can't do it... I can't do this without you, Castiel! You are..." I stuttered almost every word. I felt more tears stream down my face. "You're... My angel, Cas. You're my Angel."

"I am not _your _angel. I am many peoples' angel." He said, not understanding what I was saying. I almost screamed at him—why did he have to be so oblivious?

"You're my Angel. My Guardian. My Savior." I said, still trying to get my point across.

"What are you trying to say, Amara?" He asked, slightly calmer. I still struggled with the three words. Why did they have to be so hard to say?

They were three simple words. The whole sentence would be only eight letters. Three syllables. And I couldn't pronounce them. Only in that moment did time really feel like it passed by in a few hours.

"Amara? Amara! Answer me!" He yelled, trying to get my attention. I looked at the watch on my wrist—I stole one of Dean's.

Oh my God.

It was the time he'd try to... No, it... I checked again quickly, trying to double check that this was the time my vision occurred. It was. I may as well get it over with, huh?

"Yeah, Cas... I um... What had we been talking about?" I asked, not remembering.

"You were trying to say something to me. You called me your Savior, Angel, your Guardian. You said you couldn't do it, this, without me. You were begging me not to leave." He said slowly, enunciating each word with perfect precision. "You were having trouble saying what you wanted to say for 5 hours."

I couldn't hold it back anymore. I slowly shook my head. "I love you." I whispered, my lips crashing against his. If I knew where things were going, I may as well take the lead. He pulled away after a moment, cupping my cheeks.

"I..." He couldn't say them. I didn't—couldn't—blame him. "This happened in your vision."

"And it couldn't be any more right. Not at this moment. Please, Cas..." I whispered. He kissed me softly. I held his upper arms, and our bodies pressed together. My hands moved to his hair, and I felt the softness run between my fingers. One hand slid to my waist, his arm snaking around it, pulling me even closer, and his other moved to the back of my neck, holding me in place. Not breaking apart, he guided me to the bed, gently laying me onto the mattress. He slipped his trench coat and suit jacket off, kicking his shoes off at the same time. His kisses, like mine, were now less soft and more passionate and hungry.

My hands shakily moved to his chest, my fingers having trouble with the buttons. After a few minutes, I had finally undone all the buttons. I ran my hands across his collarbones, down his chest, and down his abdomen, feeling the strong muscle beneath the pads of my fingers. One of his hands moved to my hair, his fingers knotting the strands. His other hand moved to my hip, holding it down. His lips quickly left mine, but left a trail of kisses across my cheek, along my jaw line, and down my neck. His lips trailed across my collarbones, kissing them softly and too slowly for my liking.

His hand moved under my back, making me arch my spine. His fingers massaged the muscle near my wings.

"Oh, my God_, Castiel..." _I murmured, hating that he was teasing me—whether he was trying to or not—even though it felt so... Nice.

* * *

**Castiel's POV**

I could not stop myself. I had to, but I had no way of knowing how I could.

Hearing her say my name the way she did... It made my stomach feel as though there were insects flying in it. It felt strange, mind you, but it felt... Amazing.

But I could not keep this up. No matter what she said or what I felt, I had to make positive she was pure before she married. It was her wish, and I had to keep it. I promised I would.

I rose, no longer hovering over her. She was panting, her breathing heavy and rapid.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, her voice shallow. She swallowed some air, almost sounding as if she choked on it. I gazed at her, confused.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, looking down at my unbuttoned shirt. While I was buttoning it up, she propped herself on her elbows, catching her breath still.

"I... I was pushing you. You've said before you didn't want to do this and... I pushed you to it. God, even _I_ wasn't ready but... I just... I don't know, Cas. I shouldn't have made you." She said, all too quickly. If today were Sunday, I may have thought she was doing Confession. But she wasn't Catholic, as far as I knew. I just stared t her, unblinking, not knowing how to react.

She hadn't been pushing me. I thought I was pushing her. We must have been pushing each other.

I needed to keep my distance. But she told me that she can't do this—whatever _this_ is—and she told me so many things she kept secret.

I couldn't emotionally pain her, but I needed to leave.

I looked at her, already wanting forgiveness for what I was about to do.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, putting two fingers to her forehead, making her sleep. I left then, teleporting to the location of Sam Winchester.

* * *

**Third Person**

Castiel looked around the clearing for Sam, but to no avail, the younger Winchester was nowhere to be found. Just before he left, he heard a gunshot. He turned quickly to see an injured Sam falling to the ground. Cas walked over, and found a stranger holding a gun, pointing it towards Sam. The hunter was laying on his back against the dirt, blood seeping through his shirt. The angel looked at the bullet hold in Sam's stomach, then at the person who injured Sam.

"Who are you?" Cas asked, his tone making it clear he was going to get what he wanted. The woman glanced at him, her eyes wide with fear.

"I-I-I'm Samantha." She stuttered, dropping the gun. "I didn't want to do this, I swear, but..."

"But what?" Castiel demanded.

"He told me he'd kill everyone I loved if I didn't." She whispered, looking around the trio as if assessing that they were alone. Cas's eyes widened.

"Who told you that?" He asked, hoping it wasn't who he thought it was.

"Someone named Zachariah. I'm not allowed to kill him, though. I can only put him in pain. I don't want to." She sobbed, dropping the gun and falling to her knees. After a moment, she stopped crying and picked the gun up once again. Castiel didn't know what she was about to do. She looked at him, smiling sadly, shrugging. She locked the gun. "But he'll kill them anyway, won't he? He'll kill everyone I love. They always do. They say they won't hurt anybody, but as soon as you turn your back to do as they said, your friends and family are dead."

She pointed the gun at the side of her head, pulling the trigger. After she fell, Sam spoke for the first time.

"Why would Zachariah want this done to me?" He asked weakly, delicately laying a visibly shaking hand on the bullet wound. Castiel bent down, moving Sam's hand and putting his over the wound instead, healing it. He looked at Sam with a stoic expression.

Without a word, he stood, leaving the healed hunter on the ground still. Sam stood up quickly, stumbling, and jogged over to the angel. The angel didn't stop walking. In fact, he completely ignored him.

"Cas? Hey, Cas. Come on, answer." Sam asked, walking by Cas's side.

"Sam... I..." He started, looking around. "I have to go."

With the sound of flapping wings, he was gone.

Sam sighed. "Jerk."

* * *

Amara awoke to a room different from the one she'd been staying in. She tried moving her hands and arms, but they were tied together below whatever she was laying on. They ached so much. Her legs were burning, like they were on fire. Her mouth was duct-taped shut, and a small cloth was stuck indie her mouth. The room was warm—stuffy and hot, actually. She was drenched in sweat from head to toe. She opened her eyes slowly, and noticed the lighting in the room was dim.

"Ah, she awakes once more." A gruff voice said. She looked to her right to find a tall man sitting. He stood up, walking closer. He smirked when he saw a tear escape her eye. "Oh, now, darling, don't cry. I won't hurt you. Well, if you don't do as you're told... Father will punish you."

Amara screamed into the tape, though it was no use. The cloth muffled the sound. The man laughed. He walked away and turned a light on, making his appearance show. When she saw who it was, she wanted to kill him. She wanted to kill him slowly and painfully.

Castiel stood a few feet away from her, smiling like an idiot at her pain. "Now, now. I just need to see which hurts more..."

He took out an angel blade and a demon blade, deciding which to use first. He chose the angel blade, dragging it slowly across her waist, a lavender light mitting from the skin. He looked surprised, not expecting the color. He shrugged, looking at her expression.

She writhes against the metal bed, the ropes tied around her wrists starting to burn her skin. He dropped the blade, picking up the demon knife. He dragged it sideways across her ribs, blood slowly dripping out. The lavender light yet again lit her skin up.

He dug the knife slightly deeper, enjoying her pain. Tears flowed freely from her eyes now. He cackled, his voice slightly higher pitched for some reason. He ripped the duct tape off her mouth, pulling it quickly. She cried loudly, spitting the cloth out.

"Oh, no..." She whimpered, realizing what was going on. Castiel smiled creepily.

"Oh, yes." He said, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Cas..." She murmured. He laughed maniacally, his head thrown back slightly.

"Cas—Cas is.." He shrugged. "Hm, well, he's gone." He smiled. "He's dead." His voice flowed just too quick, as Amara was just able to understand his words.

"No... No, no, no! Not again!" She screamed, her throat dry and sore, her mouth aching. He smiled evilly.

"Ah..." He sighed, looking the girl up and down. His skin began to look cracked as black ink flowed across his skin, making his face look all the more frightening. He took a step towards her, placing a slow, lingering kiss on her lips. "Now this is going to fun."

She screamed again, only to have her cheek be met with a stinging sensation. "Shut up." He muttered, untying her ropes. She sat up slowly, her body feeling as though it were on fire. She looked at her body, only to see a tiny bathing suit.

She looked at him, confused and scared, not knowing what was going to happen. He looked at her lustfully.

"We run the show now." He whispered against her neck, making her shiver. She thought of all the ways to possibly kill a Leviathan. Which were none, since there was a lack of weapons in her immediate surroundings. He trailed his lips against her shoulder, and she pushed his head away. "Mm, is there a problem?" He asked, smiling wistfully.

"Yeah, yes, there is..." She stuttered, leaning away from the Leviathan slightly. He looked at her skeptically. This was her chance.

"And that would be..?" He started, prompting her to finish what she was going to say. She swallowed some air.

"You're not close enough to me." She whispered, her voice breathy. He climbed onto the uncomfortable metal bed so he hovered over her, kissing her hungrily. She reluctantly kissed him back, eager for his—hopefully—soft and gentle touch. He was rough though. When she felt him trail his hands down her waist and to her hips slowly, she braced herself for the unknown.

* * *

"Cas! Amara! Where are you guys!" Dean shouted, running over to the metal bed where Amara lay, her head lolled to the side, her hair hanging off the bed, knotted. Her body was limp, and paler than she was when they had first met. He ran to her side, starting to freak out, when Sam came up behind him.

"Dean." He said simply, making the older brother look at his sibling in fear. "Cas... The Leviathans..."

"What about them?" Dean yelled, slamming his pistol onto the metal table. The two met with a loud bang, and yet the girl didn't stir.

"I'll have to kill Cas." Sam murmured, looking at Amara. Her body was barely covered, other than the thin cloth that covered her chest and lower hip areas.

"And what'll we say to her?" Dean asked, gesturing to the sleeping teen. Sam glanced at her, a soft expression upon his face.

"There was no other way." He said, still looking at her with a sad look. His eyes widened. "Wait..."

Amara coughed, hacking up a small amount of blood. She tried to lift her head, but failed. She couldn't move her body at all, she was too weak. Dean hurried to her side, trying to sit her up. Sam helped, hoeing her up. They carried her out to the Impala, and Dean put his jacket on her, hoping she'd stay somewhat warm. Sam decided that Dean should stay out here, and he'd go back into the building. The elder brother agreed, knowing he'd panic if she was out here alone with a Leviathan on the loose.

He ran a hand through his hair, looking in the rearview mirror to see her. She smiled weakly, her eyes barely cracked open as she caught him looking.

"You... Didn't have to... Stay..." She breathily said, her voice very hoarse. Just then, her eyes rolled into the back off her head, and turned pitch black. Dean didn't have any time to react before he heard a tapping on the window on the passenger's side. He jumped, looking out the window.

Castiel stood there, blood spattered across his faces and his clothes. He opened the door, and Dean pointed the pistol at him.

The angel backed away, putting his hands up in defense. Dean stepped out of the car, still aiming the gun at him. The hunter's breaths were heavy and rapid. Castiel looked into the window of the Impala, and saw Amara laying there, seemingly on the verge of death. He fell to his knees, slamming a fist into the ground. Dean lowered the gun, but kept his finger on the trigger.

"You see her, don't you? How the _hell_ can you do this to her?" He yelled, throwing the gun into the ground, furious. "Cas, she's almost _dead_ because of _you!_"

Castiel let out a strangled sob, slamming his fist into the ground repeatedly. He looked up at the night sky, a tear escaping his eye.

"Do you see her? What are you going to say to her, Cas? Because when she wakes up—_if she even fucking survives—_she'll remember everything, won't she? You have a hell of a lot of blood on your hands, and you might not regret any of it... But if she dies, that blood is on your hands. Do you think you'd be able to stand it, Cas? Huh? Because, in the state you're in right now, I don't think you would be." Dean fumed, his anger boiling. He picked the angel up by his collar, pulling him close, and slammed him against the wall. "And I swear to God, if she dies..."

Cas's breathing was shaky, shallow and heavy. "You'll kill me, won't you?" He asked, planning on it happening.

Dean nodded, after hesitating a moment. "But, unlike you, I won't make it painful. I'll make it quick."

Castiel nodded, believing the punishment would suffice if Amara didn't survive.

The hunter walked to the Impala, climbing in. Sam walked out minutes later, an angel blade in his hand. Castiel looked at Sam, shocked and hurt. The younger Winchester gave Cas a dirty look, stepping into the Impala. The brothers drove off, back to the motel.

Castiel teleported to Bobby's home, and walked inside, scaring Bobby.

"Bobby, I need you to do something for me." Cas said, walking over to him.

"What'cha need, boy?" Bobby asked, sitting on the couch. Castiel looked at him sadly.

"I need you to tell Sam and Dean that Amara can't be near me. Not for a while." He said, casting his gaze to the floor. A single tear splashed to the floor.

"Who's Amara?" Bobby asked, not having heard the name before.

"My... She's, uh, the one I..." He stuttered, still having trouble saying the simple words. "She's the, uh, girl I, um... She's the girl I love."

Bobby frowned, giving Castiel an empathetic look. "I'll tell 'em. Are they mad or something?"

Castiel looked back up at the older hunter. "Let's just say she's on the verge of death right now." He murmured.

Bobby now looked confused. "Why?"

Castiel took a deep, shaky breath before saying the three words. "Because of me."

With the sound of flapping wings, he was gone, and Bobby took his phone out, dialing Dean's number.

"Hello?" Dean answered, making Bobby sigh.

"Dean... Cas wanted me to tell you to keep Amara away from him." He said, his voice laced with regret and sadness.

"And we'll do that. Hey, Bobby, I gotta go. Call in the morning, okay?" Dean replied, his jaw clenching. "Bye."

"Bye."

That was the last time Amara saw Castiel for 4 weeks. She never woke up, but the Winchesters kept hoping she would. For hers and Castiel's sakes.

She slowly grew paler. The color of her hair dulled, the strands damaged and breaking. Her smooth skin was now a little rougher from the lack of natural oils. Her skin felt colder with each day. Her lips were now cracked and dry. The only sign of life she had was the fact that her eyes were still pitch black.

Her pulse grew slower and weaker with each day, eventually completely diminished within 2 weeks.

The two brothers faced the truth—she wasn't going to survive.

And she didn't even get to say what she wanted to say to the Winchesters and her Savior, Castiel.

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**A/N: Okay, tell me how much you hate me. I need to know.**

**The only lyrics in the chapter were from 'Just Give Me A Reason' By P!nk and Nate R****uess.**

**Trust me, this isn't the end though. How could it? Not enough fluff for me, tbh.  
I hope this is good for now... It's nearly 2X as long as my usual chapter.****I love you guys!**

**Please favorite/follow and review!**


	5. Seduction

**A/N: Really sorry about posting this late. Writer's block... And procrastination do that. I'm really truly sorry, though. I am. So, without further ado, please read on!**

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_God and His priests and His kings_

_All were waiting_

_All will wait_

_As they go over_

_Held between Heaven and Hell_

_As they're dancing, as they dance_

_Over and over_

Cold by Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz

* * *

Amara awoke to a dark room. The TV's volume barely audible, though the screen glowed brightly. She rubbed her eyes, noticing a sharp pain in her abdomen and lower, along with a migraine. She ignored it, forcing herself to sit up, trying to get a look at the content on the television. When she could see clearly, she saw a black figure (or was it a cloud?) standing in front of a white background. It was saying something in Latin, but she couldn't translate—her head was still fuzzy and reeling.

The TV turned off, seemingly by itself.

She turned her head towards the other bed, where Sam laid sleeping peacefully. She noticed she wasn't in the center of the bed she was in—she was on the side, rather, and turned to see why. Dean was laying on the other side, under the comforter, but awake and staring at her. He smiled slightly when he noticed her gazing at him with a confused expression.

"Well, someone's finally up." He remarked, his grin growing slightly wider. It disappeared as soon as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"How long was I out?" She asked, starting to feel anxious for some reason. She didn't know why. Dean sat up a bit, revealing a shirtless, chiseled chest. She stared for a moment in awe, but quickly snapped out of her daze, bringing her eyes up to meet his.

"Uh... About 6 weeks? Something like that. Thought you were dead for a while. But apparently... You're not." He answered, a hand gesturing to her sitting form. She looked down, her knotted hair falling around her shoulders. She felt a hand lightly touch her shoulder, and it felt like fire against her skin. She pulled away from Dean's gentle touch, looking at him in terror. His eyebrows furrowed. "You're freezing."

Her jaw dropped. "You're like a fucking _flame_." She retorted, horrified. After a moment of silence, a whisper of 'Oh my God' escaped her lips as realization was painted onto her face. She looked back at Dean, shocked.

"Am I missing something?" He asked, now starting to worry.

Her mouth quivered, her body slightly trembling. She pressed the tips of her index and pointer fingers to the area just above her jugular, where her pulse would be strongest. She waited a few moments, applying a bit more pressure with each passing second. Each time she pressed harder though, her look of horror became more and more defined.

"What's wrong?" He asked, wrapping a hand around her wrist, hard enough to get her attention, but not enough to hurt her. She dropped the hand on her neck, moving it to her eyes. She should've been crying, but no tears came. She looked at him with sorrow written across her face.

"I don't have a pulse." She murmured, her eyes now moving to the blanket on the bed, darting back and forth, thinking. _How the hell was this possible?_

"So the vessel's dead?" He asked, dipping his head to meet her eyes. She shook her head.

"This isn't a vessel, Dean. This is _me_." She said, strangled sobs escaping her throat. She looked at him with a calmer face, her eyes searching his. Her lips puckered, pulling to one side of her face in thought. Her eyes looked towards the ceiling. He raised an eyebrow, curious as to what she was thinking. A few minutes later, she looked back at Dean with a quizzical look.

"Where's Cas?" She asked, her tone hinting towards concern, but her eyes showing a different emotion. Dean rubbed the back of his neck nervously, leaning on his right forearm, avoiding her gaze.

"Cas..." He started. "Told us to keep you away from him. No matter what. I'm sorry. I mean, Sam and I agreed. Amara..." He trailed off, figuring she'd understand the rest. She nodded her head slightly.

"That's why I don't have a pulse." She murmured. He nodded. He looked at her with empathy.

"Did he ever... You know... De-hymenate you?" He asked nervously, uncomfortable with the situation. Normally he'd be talking freely about this type of stuff without a care in the world.

But when it was a 17 year old girl... That's a different story.

Amara nodded meekly, looking back down at her lap, even though it was under the comforter. "Yeah, he did." She sad quietly, glancing at Dean's disturbed expression. "It wasn't forced or coercion, don't worry." She added quickly upon seeing his reaction. He slightly relaxed, though he was still visibly tense. She smiled sadly, still trying to convince him, though it didn't seem he believed her.

"Well, you should probably sleep. Unless six weeks was long enough for you." He joked, trying to make light of the situation at hand. Amara was now looking at him with an unreadable gaze, before her eyebrows furrowed together. "Is something wrong?"

"Hm? Oh, no, no. Nothing's wrong..." She mumbled, her voice trailing off into a whisper. Her eyes traveled to his lips again. After a minute of her staring, he noticed. She didn't move her gaze as she spoke. "I know how to get Castiel back." She muttered, smirking before looking at the hunter in the eyes.

He arched an eyebrow, but said nothing. He didn't move as she slowly inched closer towards him, her head dipping to meet his. Said nothing as her forehead touched his. Made no move as her breathing became heavier and her eyes fluttered closed, her lips parting. She kissed him softly, her lips slotting between his. When he didn't react—he was so shocked—she kissed him harder, this time making him come back to Earth. He kissed her back, unsure as to ewhy.

Her hand moved to his chest, her soft, cold skin barely grazing his. He sat up further, moving a hand to her back, and the other to her neck, keeping her held close to him. She moved her other hand to his hair, fisting it as he kissed her harder. He pulled her against him, his tongue sliding over her bottom lip. She parted her mouth, letting his tongue in.

He tilted her back, laying her down and hovering over her. His hands moved from her back to her hips, his thumbs digging into the side of the bone as she moaned against his lips. He pulled away for a moment to take off the loose shirt she wore. He kissed her again, making his way from her mouth, to her jaw, then to her neck, sucking the soft skin. She sighed, biting her lip. His lips moved to the hollow of her neck, then to her collar bone, nipping it.

Her hands made his way to his belt.

Soon enough, they were in a tangle of limbs, moaning each other's names in ecstasy.

And Sam left as soon as he saw the two sleeping.

* * *

_The next morning_

Dean woke up with his chest pressed to Amara's back, a hand resting on her ribs. He tried to think of how this happened, but fuzzy thoughts that could only be a dream filled his mind. Still, he pressed his lips softly to the side of her neck, sliding a hand to the side of her thigh, bringing it back towards him slightly. he smiled when he felt her hand move back to his neck, keeping him close to her—as if they weren't close enough.

"Amara, I heard you and I thought you were—" Castiel stopped as he turned and saw the hunter and the girl under the covers, presumably naked, pressed against each other. Dean and Amara looked up at the angel at the same time; Dean froze on his side, his mouth making a small 'o' and his eyes wide. Amara looked shocked at first, but then relaxed, sitting up and pulling the covers up to cover her chest. She looked down, drawing her knees to her, then up at Castiel with regret. "Dean... Amara... What..."

"Castiel... It's... Not what it looks like..." She trailed, not sounding and convincing. She knew that, but didn't care. The angel looked at Dean in fury; too bad he didn't know who was really to blame. She took note of how Castiel appeared. "It wasn't him, Castiel. He didn't... Seduce me..."

Castiel looked at her in confusion. She looked up at the ceiling as she continued. "Dear, Father, this isn't going to be easy. Help me out? Or am I too much of an abomination?" She whispered sarcastically. She closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. She tilted her head towards the mattress before looking between the two. She settled her gaze on Castiel.

"One of the things a demon-angel hybrid can do is... Let's say_ persuade_ other beings." She looked at Dean with a gaze that said 'I'm so sorry...' His eyes widened even more, his eyebrows furrowing. She looked back at Castiel. "And Dean told me last night that you wouldn't come back to me, no matter what. He said that he's protect me from you after... That night. And I did the first thing I thought of."

The two looked at her in confusion. She rubbed her face with both hands in irritation. She looked back at the two as if they were stupid. "I acted on impulse and got Dean to have sex with me! I did it by, I don't know, controlling his mind or whatever you want to call it! I did it to get you back here!"

Castiel looked down. Dean looked at her with a smirk.

"How good was it?" He asked, and Amara looked at him with—lust?—he couldn't tell.

"I'd do it all the time if I could." She murmured into his ear, her lips barely touching the skin. He shivered, ready to throw her down onto the bed again.

The two were interrupted by Castiel, again. "If you two are going to fornicate once more I will leave."

Amara sighed. What the hell was she supposed to do right now?

"Cas..." She stood up, forgetting about her lack of clothing, before grabbing one of Dean's plaid button-ups in an attempt to cover herself. She walked over to the angel who held a stoic expression. She laid a hand on his cheek, her palm grazing the stubble. He looked her in the eye to find that hers were now completely black, unlike the violet color they held before. "Don't leave." She said threateningly, her other hand getting a tight grip on the collar of his trench coat.

She threw him against the wall, using all of the force she could. She ran back towards one of the drawers, grabbing the angel blade she always kept with her. She held it behind her back as she watched him saunter back through the wall into the room, ready to stab him at any moment. When he stood a few inches from her, but made no move, she brought the knife back, stabbing him in the chest harshly.

No blue light emitted. Her black eyes turned back to violet.

"What the hell..." She said, looking from the knife in his chest to his face, which now held a frightening smile. Black blood flowed up into his neck, forming cracks in the skin like before. She made a look of terror and anger as she pulled the knife back out. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

He threw her against the opposite wall, making her hurtle through a window.

"Don't mess with me." He muttered. He turned into a pool of black ooze.

Dean was still on the bed, terrified.

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**A/N: May I say how much I don't like this chapter? I kept thinking of what I needed Amar to do to get Castiel back to her, and I thought, _Oh, right, if she has sex with Dean... _**

**And I needed to show some of her personality (that's where the impulsiveness comes in to play) and some of what _I _think a demon-angel hybrid would be able to do. So, on an impulse, she 'persuaded' Dean to have sex with her. I somewhat hinted at this when it says 'he kissed her back, though unsure why'.**

**Yep. Still don't like it though. Please review so I know how it came out.**


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